15 years ago, I met my husband while we were both in college. And that is the only part of the story we both agree on. I will tell you that he arrived unannounced to my birthday party, made a scene, and would not leave until I gave him my number. He will tell you that he had been trying to get me to notice him for the prior three months, he was indeed invited by one of our mutual friends, and that I was playing hard to get. Which ever version you believe, we met on February 10th, 2005 which also happened to be my birthday. It was mutual attraction at first sight, which turned quickly to love, and then partners in life. We married on October 10, 2009 and just celebrated 10 years together. And I can truly say, he is the only one for me.
Ten years of marriage has not been easy, simple, or without challenge and I am sure I will add in stories of our life together as I go along my blog journey. We are very opposite which can lead to frustration and expanding the way I think about the world all in the same day. My husband is an athlete, extremely social, knowledgeable about history and politics, and appreciates a good excel spreadsheet with pivot tables. He was born in Uganda but moved to the United States at age six. He grew up here immersed in American culture and ideals. Somehow, he did not forget his roots. He had always been frugal believing that less is more. He was the saver. I was the spender. We have grown and shed many layers of outdated useless ideas throughout our relationship. Some ideas we gave up easily and thus growing together. And to be honest, others we held on to fiercely and only let go because they were breaking the relationship apart. Through it all, we chose each other.
Despite my husband’s background, changing to a minimalist lifestyle was a process for him. It is possible to be frugal and have a lot of things. It is possible to be a saver and still chase an inaccurate idea of success. My husband is deep down a very traditional man and his values include his ability to provide for his family. Our relationship is much more egalitarian with traditional hints however, his perceived role of provider influenced him to give me and eventually our boys whatever we needed and wanted. The transition to a minimalist lifestyle challenged his view of himself as a successful provider. And I respected that and supported him as his wife.
Over the last few years, we have changed together slowly and in ways that are comfortable for both of us. Focusing on streamlining our family processes for grocery shopping, house cleaning, and yard care. Then minimizing the items in our home before eventually downsizing to a townhome. We have changed our spending habits and parenting beliefs together. We still have differences including downsizing our home again, decreasing to a capsule wardrobe, and utilizing more reusable items in our every day life but we will continue to challenge long held beliefs and continue to ask “Why” and “Why Not”. Believing that the foundation of our marriage is the foundation for our children, their future, our careers, and ultimate life goals.
Together.
Tell me about your partner. How would you describe them?
Drop me a note.
RS
